Machete Review

Even though it's September, it's still fairly warm outside right now and thus I still consider it Summer.  And to me, the Summer movie season is officially over.  Why?  Because, I just saw Machete and I don't really have anything to look forward to until Jackass 3D in October (I think) and Tron: Legacy in the Winter, that's why.  So was Machete end Summer with a bang or with a whimper?  Read on to find out!

My Stand-Up Comedy Debut

So as I mentioned in my last entry, I decided to take the stage as an amateur in every meaning of the word with a stand-up routine.  You see, a good buddy of mine and aspiring stand-up comedian (who I'll plug later on) has been wanting me to take the stage.  I enjoy making my friends laugh and all but when you know someone who wants to be funny for a living (or at least make a go of it) telling you you're one of the funniest people he knows, that's pretty exciting and humbling at the same time.  So I thought it was worth a shot.  And believe it or not, I do have material.  Coming up with material isn't hard for me, it's performing.  I really don't like public speaking, hence why I've stuck to a written format here on the blog and have only flirted with the idea of doing video logs.  I'm super self-conscious and get nervous easily.  Hell, I just had a good friend of mine take pictures of me so I had something presentable up on my Facebook profile.  For months, I've had a drawing a friend found that vaguely looked like me because I never like how pictures of me turn out so I figured having a professional do them would turn out better.  Well, they turned out alright but it was all due to her and not because I'm good-looking by any means.  Anyways, you can see the sort of psychosis I go through just by getting on stage.  And I was nervous.  My one leg was shaking so bad that if I put any sort of pressure on it, I could've easily tipped over.  I'm sure you can hear the shakiness in my voice as well.  With that said, let me just put the video up so you can see for yourself.

What I've Been Up To and Another Random Movie Round-Up

Hey guys, even though I posted the Ghost Rider review last week, it still seems like it's been a while since I've just rambled on about nothing in particular.  It's weird, I try to do these big overblown articles but sometimes when I get down to it, sometimes I just gotta rant a bit.  So far, I haven't really heard any feedback about the Ghost Rider review but I'm kinda on the fence about keeping the whole Nic-Cellence gimmick going.  I don't know if it was an easy read for you or anything, but it took a lot of work doing that.  Work that I don't necessarily have the energy for right now.  I think that took me about a couple weeks to do, between writing, getting screencaps and making the Creepy Nic Heads for the ratings system.  If I do another one, maybe I'll tone it down a bit.  Also, I realize the screencaps were a bit huge and ended up getting cut off.  But nothing of importance was lost so I just left it the way it was because I'm a lazy person. 

And that's something I'd like to rant about a little bit: Motivation.  I have none.

Nic-Cellence: The Films of Nicolas Cage - #1 Ghost Rider

In what may become a regular installment of Sarcasmatron, I will pay tribute to one of the greatest actors of our generation: Sir Nicolas Cage.  And yes, I realize that I'm about as "regular" as a once a week crap so I don't know how often my homage-paying will be but I hope this will at least be the start of something fun.  So let's get started with the first film chosen by you, the readers...well, READER since only one of you voted.  But before we begin, let me talk about about the way I'll be judging this film and determining if they are worthy of "Nic-Cellence."

Piranha 3D Review

This weekend, I made an hour drive to my buddy's place and ended up seeing Piranha 3D for free thanks to a couple of free Fandango passes.  Was it all worth it?  Of course it was!  But I would've willingly paid full price and driven further (OK, maybe not, as I loathe driving) to see it.  Why?  Well read on, true believer!

Scott Pilgrim vs The Expendables: A Movie Review x2

Though I probably already mentioned this in my previous Summer Movie Rundown (or whatever the hell I called it back then), I keep hearing a lot of people saying how horrible this movie season is this Summer.  And I don't get it.  Case in point, I saw two, count 'em TWO, movies this weekend, whereas in previous years I wouldn't see two movies the entire Summer!  Hell, I could've made it three for the week if I had gone and seen The Other Guys with a few friends but that's one I don't mind waiting until video for.  But the movies I felt that couldn't wait were The Expendables, a movie I've been looking forward to for months, and Scott Pilgrim vs The World, a movie I was interested in seeing as I felt it could've been really good or really horrible.

But before I go into those two movies, I'll go into some of the trailers that I saw and see if there's anything worth looking forward to in the next few months.

The Return of Random Movie Roundup and More!

I realize that I haven't really written much lately, having not put anything up in a few weeks and probably nothing resembling a full-blown review or article in a month or longer.  I'm sorry, my motivation for writing (or doing much of anything, really) has hit a new low so that's why I've been away.  But at least some people are still reading this (hopefully) because somehow I've just now reached over 1,000 hits total.  Thanks guys!  As a present, here's a new Random Movie Roundup with a new batch of movies!  Yeah, I know it's a shitty present, so just pretend I'm your grandma and shut up and pretend you like it, OK?