Before I go into what happened on Tuesday, I feel it's only fair to shed some light on the Rookies on the show as to not confuse anyone. And who better to start out with than the one causing the most controversy, starting even before the show took to the air? (PS, I "borrowed" the pics from WWE.com so it's only fair that you follow the link and give them some business, even if only to ogle at the Divas like I do.)
Daniel Bryan
Pro: The Miz
Vitals: 5'10", 190 lbs.
Interesting Facts: 10 years of wrestling experience, Former Ring of Honor and Pro Wrestling Guerrilla Heavyweight Champion, Trained by Shawn Michaels and once had an awesome beard
Formerly known as Bryan Danielson and considered by many to be the "Best In The World", Bryan comes into NXT with a world of accolades that apparently mean nothing in the WWE Universe. Paired with current United States Champion, co-holder of the Unified Tag Team Championship with The Big Show, former reality show star and general all-around asshole The Miz, Danielson has to learn to swallow his pride, despite the fact that he holds a good five or six years of experience over his "mentor". Already the Rookie and the Pro have butted heads throughout NXT's first episode and the relationship is a ticking time bomb. But maybe there's a chance that the two will co-exist by the end of the competition. Could The Miz end up becoming a submission specialist? Will Daniel Bryan be seen sporting a coiffed fauxhawk? Yeah, I doubt it.
Chances of remaining in the WWE: 100%
Just the fact that they've given the "internet darling" such a prominent focus during a show (even though it is the "C-Show" behind Raw and Smackdown), not to mention a main event match with current World Heavyweight Champion Chris Jericho shows that the WWE is banking heavily on Bryan's talent and pre-existing fanbase to get him over. The paring between Bryan and The Miz is such a combination of opposites that there's no way it won't work.
Wade Barrett
Pro: Chris Jericho
Vitals: 6'5", 265 lbs.
Interesting Facts: Really, Really British
As you'll figure out, I don't know a lot about these guys considering how much I like wrestling. I'm not sure how well the man wrestles but what I do know is that the man has a sexy, sexy voice. Seriously. The only exposure he got on the first episode of NXT was introducing Chris Jericho before his match with Daniel Bryan and holding onto Jericho's World Heavyweight Championship belt for safekeeping. He hasn't shown how well he can wrestle yet but between his thick British accent and his suave style (coming out to the ring in a classy trenchcoat with a white rose), Barrett has already stood out a bit more from the pack.
Chances of remaining in the WWE: 60%
Like I said, I don't know how well the man wrestles. Even Florida Championship Wrestling (WWE's developmental system), he spent much of his time as the color commentator. But when you hear that smooth voice of his, you kinda realize why. Considering WWE's failure to push awesome British guys (*cough*William Regal*cough*), I wouldn't be surprised if they don't do anything with him. But even Wade does suck at wrestling, at least keep him around as a suave, but imposing, bodyguard for somebody.
Justin Gabriel
Pro: Matt Hardy
Vitals: 6'1", 215 lbs.
Interesting Facts: Formerly Known as Justin Angel, Current Florida Championship Wrestling Heavyweight Champion, Hails from South Africa, Used to come out to Candice Michelle's entrance music (no joke).
From what I've heard, Justin Gabriel is a pretty good wrestler and fully deserving of holding the FCW title. But whenever I look at him, I just can't help but be sexually confused. I mean, I'm totally straight and all. But look at that hair! Hell, look at those disturbingly low tights. And the weirdest part is, that's not even a very good picture of him. Oddly enough, he had no part in last week's episode of NXT whatsoever but they did hype him up for next week so we'll see how he does.
Chances of remaining in the WWE: 80%
The way I see it, Justin's already got "the look", especially if they want to hook in the girls that are dragged into watching wrestling by their boyfriends. If his skills in the ring are as good as people say and he shows one iota of charisma, I fully see Justin keeping a permanent spot somewhere in the WWE. Hell, they could slap some makeup on him and change his name to Not Adam Lambert. But considering how behind the times Vince McMahon is, he'll probably be changed to Not Adam Ant...which I think I might like more.
Skip Sheffield
Pro: William Regal
Vitals: 6'2", 270 lbs
Interesting Facts: A contestant of Tough Enough 4, Once Known as "The Silverback", Wears hats that are way too small for his head.
Like Justin Gabriel, Sheffield had no part in last week's episode, but didn't even get a plug for next week's episode. Maybe Regal can teach him a submission move or two but I don't even see how Skip can move his arms. It's obvious that he put that cowboy hat on when he was 12 and hasn't been able to lift his arms that high to remove it since then due to his gigantic traps.
Chances of remaining in the WWE: 30%
Along with Wade Barrett, Skip is the biggest rookie in the NXT roster, only giving up 3 inches but with a 5 pound advantage. (Other than Wade and Daniel Bryan, everyone seems to be stuck at the 6'1"-6'2" mark.) Yeah, he's freakin' stacked, which I'm sure gives Vince McMahon a 'roid-boner. But if it came down to size, I'd probably pick Barrett over Sheffield. At least Barrett shows some charisma. Then again, Sheffield hasn't even been on the show yet so maybe he'll surprise me.
Michael Tarver
Pro: Carlito
Vitals: 6'2", 256 lbs.
Interesting Facts: Claims his father was a sparring partner for Mike Tyson, Also claims to be able to knock anyone out in 1.9 seconds, Claims to be from Ohio (don't know why he'd want to claim that).
Despite being paired with Carlito (who will probably never get a substantial push ever again) and despite taking the pinfall in his match last week, I think Tarver showed some promise with his boxing background. Not the most charismatic out of the bunch but his video interview did get me to give a crap about him.
Chances of remaining in the WWE: 50%
Tarver got a decent amount of time in his match to throw some punches and show off his offense, so building on that would do him well to get noticed. As the WWE continues to lose popularity and viewership to the UFC, I think they should give Tarver an MMA-based gimmick to get some of the fans sitting on the fence between the two to tune in. 
Heath Slater
Pro: Christian
Vitals: 6'2", 230 lbs.
Interesting Facts: Former Florida Heavyweight Champion, Almost as ginger as Sheamus, Also a redneck.
At first, I thought Slater had a shot as I watched his video interview, reminding me of Lance Cade if Lance has charisma. But that so-called "charisma" got old really fast. He considers himself "a rock-and-roll band without instruments" (how does that work exactly?) and his idea of getting fired up is spastically mimicking Eddie Guerrero's dance, only looking like the slow kid on the playground falling for the old "Can you eat your own face?" trick. So by the time his match rolled around, I was already sick of him. Wrestling-wise, he didn't suck but didn't really show much to make me give a crap either.
Chances of remaining in the WWE: 10%
He's tall and lanky, which makes him look a bit awkward in the ring especially compared to other "hosses". And much like Sheamus, it looks like he could spontaneously combust if exposed to sunlight. But more annoyingly, he reminds me of the kind of guy that thinks he's God's give to women but only 15 year old girls with two kids find attractive..and that doesn't stop him. You know, people that think Kid Rock is still entertaining. Then again, Kid Rock did perform at Wrestlemania last year so maybe I'm just dumb.
Darren Young
Pro: CM Punk
Vitals: 6'1", 240 lbs.
Interesting Facts: Looks like John Cena in blackface.
I know the picture doesn't convey it well but seriously, Darren Young looks like John Cena covered in blackface (or at least fell in a vat of fake tan spray, Joker-style) wearing Superfly Jimmy Snuka's ring gear and given Goku's haircut from Dragon Ball Z. If that description right there doesn't make you mark out in your pants, I don't know what will. He's being paired with CM Punk, who's doing a Cult Leader gimmick espousing the virtues of the Straight Edge lifestyle, looking like Jesus via Charlie Manson. So of course Darren's fun partying ways don't go over well with Punk. The Miz/Bryan pairing may be the most obvious "odd couple" but I think the Punk/Young pairing could result in the most entertaining segments.
Chances of remaining in the WWE: 50%
It didn't really look good for Darren as he lost in his first match in about a minute (much to the chagrin of Punk) but I think if they play him as a fun comedy character (and really, can you take a guy looking like that seriously?), he could get quite over with the fans and form a connection. Hopefully CM Punk doesn't convert Darren like he did with Luke Gallows and Serena and shave his head because that would be a crime.
David Otunga
Pro: R-Truth
Vitals: 6'0", 240 lbs.
Interesting Facts: Attended Harvard Law School, Was a contestant on VH1's I Love New York 2, Engaged to Jennifer Hudson (Oscar/Grammy award winning singer/actress and American Idol contestant)
Despite winning his match, Otunga didn't really show a lot in the ring as he disposed of Darren Young with a sloppy spinebuster in less than a minute. But where Otunga really shined was his pre-match interview, playing up his various Hollywood connections ("You know who else went to Harvard? The President!") and acting like a cocky douchebag. And to top it off, he ended with a catchphrase that's sure to catch on: "Google me!" (Sorry dude, I Wiki'd you instead.) So if Daniel Bryan is to be considered the top face of the Rookies, then Otunga cemented himself as the top Rookie heel. I actually wouldn't be surprised to see The Miz use Otunga (both former reality show stars, both major douchebags) in an effort to stifle Bryan's rise to the top.
Chances of remaining in the WWE: 85%
Vince McMahon desperately wants the WWE to be part of the mainstream and to be thought of as legitimate entertainment alongside of whatever's popular nowadays, which is evident by the Guest Hosts of Raw over the past year (most of whom not knowing the first thing about wrestling). I wouldn't say that Otunga is the perfect way to get there (he's pretty much famous for being Mr. Jennifer Hudson much like Nick Cannon is basically Mr. Mariah Carey) but he's the best shot that the WWE has for mainstream exposure, even if it is random bits on TMZ or a two sentence blurb in US Weekly.
Seeing as the bios are already causing this blog to run on a bit, here's a quick rundown as to what happened on NXT this past Tuesday:
-The show opened up with The Miz forcing Daniel Bryan to go out to the ring and show some charisma. Bryan cuts an awkward but endearing promo but doesn't get far as The Miz interrupts, saying that it wasn't good enough. When The Miz wants to hear a catchphrase, Bryan comes up with "Tap or Snap", which might've been on a Kurt Angle shirt but nevertheless is a thinly veiled threat to The Miz. Miz slaps Bryan and walks off.
-Christian and Heath Ledger over Carlito and Michael Tarver when Christian pins Tarver with the Killswitch. Solid match.
-David Otunga pins Darren Young in about a minute with a sloppy spinebuster. CM Punk and his Straight Edge Society literally want nothing to do with Young, distancing themselves from him as they make their way to the ring. And when Young is pinned, Punk nonchalantly shrugs his shoulders and walks off, abandoning his Rookie. Captain Obvious says "CM Punk is awesome."
-World Heavyweight Champion Chris Jericho defeats Daniel Bryan in a non-title match. For his first match in a WWE ring and being able to hold his own with Jericho (who just became the World champ last Sunday in the Elimination Chamber), Daniel got a major rub. And it wasn't one-sided either as Daniel was able to hang with Jericho as well. A scary spot occurred when Daniel went for a suicide dive through the ropes and ended up landing back first into the commentary table. In the end, Jericho made Daniel tap out with an old-school Liontamer (not the weak-ass Walls of Jericho, which is basically just a Boston Crab), which caused The Miz to freak out and beat up Daniel to end the show.
Throughout the show were various in-depth pre-taped interviews with a few of the wrestlers (namely Michael Tarver, Heath Slater and David Otunga) that helped them get over where an interview in front of a live crowd might not have. Also, the announcers were Josh Mathews and Michael Cole, which ended up being a very interesting dynamic by the end of the night. Mathews played the internet-savvy fan with information on the various guys while Michael Cole ended up playing the heel as a tried-and-true WWE loyalist that refuses to believe that wrestling actually exists outside of the WWE. I'm not 100%s sure if it was intentional or not but it works very well for a few reasons. #1) NXT will mostly be watched by internet fans due to the inclusion of Daniel Bryan and the fact that internet fans are probably the only fans that know the WWE has a show on the SyFy Network. #2) Internet fans HATE Michael Cole. I mean, just listen to the guy and you will too but internet fans, just like your average nerd on a message board, can't help but complain repeatedly and fervently about the things they claim to like, let alone things they actually hate. So making Michael Cole the deluded heel is smart because most of us already dislike the guy. And ironically enough, him purposely acting like he doesn't have a clue instead of really not having a clue is actually making him more entertaining somehow. In an added note, Michael Cole has deleted his account at the WWE Universe website (basically the WWE's version of a social networking site), claiming not wanting to "be associated with the Internet". Little things like that is what makes wrestling fun.
Even though I've kept track with wrestling all my life, I haven't really wanted to tune in regularly since the ECW revival was happening in 2006. Back then, it looked like the WWE was going out on a limb and doing something different for once, like "Holy crap, they're bringing back ECW? They're letting Rob Van Dam win a Heavyweight title? Oh my god, they're actually giving Sabu work?" But after a few months or so, ECW was diluted and became boring because important or interesting was happening. Now they're shaking things up again with NXT and even though it's only been one week, it's way more interesting than what's going on on Raw and Smackdown for the most part and makes way more sense than anything that's been happening in TNA.
Alright, enough with wrestling. If you were able to read all of that then kudos to you (the Cookies & Cream flavor). As for other random things, I just watched Thirst last night...and I'm not really sure what to think about it. Like I said before, it's the vampire movie directed by Chan-Wook Park and I'm willing to go out on a limb and call it the "Korean Twilight". Even though I dislike Twilight and everything it stands for, I don't necessarily mean it as an insult as it's basically a messed-up vampire love story...only made in Korea. Basically, what happens is this priest submits himself to a medical study involving an incurable disease and dies from it, at least until he's brought back to life by the vampire blood he was unknowingly (to everyone involved) transfused with. Being the only one of 500 to have survived the disease, everyone thinks he can work miracles and during one of his prayer sessions, he runs into a sick childhood friend. They rekindle their friendship but more importantly he lusts for his friend's wife, who was married to him against her will years after being adopted by his mother and treated like his sister/slave. So you have the priest-turned-vampire who is trying to reconcile with his faith all while suppressing his animal urges and thirst for blood while the girl wants to run away with him and away from her crappy life. Of course, things go wrong but I won't get into all that, lest I reveal spoilers.
My only real beef against the movie, even though it's pretty major, is the running time. It clocks in at 2 hours 15 minutes, which is really only 45 minutes longer than the average movie, but it feels A LOT longer than that. To me, I thought Thirst took WAY longer to get going than the Thai version of Bangkok Dangerous did. Honestly, the first hour or more is so slow that when I paused it to check how much time is left, I groaned when I realized I still had about another movie's length to go. So I paused it and took a break around the half-way mark but it seemed to get a lot more interesting after that, which made me happy. As a vampire movie, I can't really comment as I'm not a huge vampire fan (I'm more of a zombie/slasher/gore horror type guy) but I don't think it adds much new to the vampire mythos. Basically vampires are bloodthirsty, super-strong and can fly but when the characters do anything with those powers, it's usually pretty cool. And being a vampire film, the movie is pretty bloody and there are some decent violent scenes that are borderline cartoonish, but since they're used sparingly they work better than if the movie was nothing but violence and gore. It's pretty well acted as Kang-ho Song (who has played notable parts in most of Chan-Wook Park's films) is great as the priest and the female lead (Ok-bin Kim) shows a range throughout the movie from subservience to lusting to criminally insane by the end of the movie. In the end, I'd say check it out. Just keep in mind that it takes a looooooooonnnnnnnngggg time to get going. If it weren't for plot and character development and such, I'd say just skip the first half of the movie altogether. As for where it stands in the Chan-Wook Park movies that I've seen, I can really only put it above Lady Vengeance, not because Thirst is bad or anything but because I think Oldboy, Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance and JSA are that damn good.
Finally, frequent visitors to Sarcasmatron may have noticed a new addition in the form of a hit counter. Yeah, it's not a big number yet, mostly because I'm sure no one reads this, honestly. Just kidding, but seriously it's only keeping track of visitors starting from when I added the counter, which was only a few days ago. I wish there was some way for it to work retroactively and include the people who have passed through here previously but oh well. This is actually a lot more interesting and useful to me than the Feed Counter, which tends to be a bit depressing. It seems like when I post an entry, the Feed Readers will shoot up to like 15 but then after a day or two of not posting anything, it slumps back down to 4 or 5. And try as they might, FeebBurner doesn't give me a whole lot of useful information (at least from what I can tell) about if anyone's visiting the site or what they're reading...especially since I don't use Feeds or anything like that myself. But this counter is pretty awesome. I was checking out my stats a couple days ago and I found out that some guy in Finland found my site when he went to Google and typed in "Why is Bangkok Dangerous so underrated" and doing that myself resulted in finding Sarcasmatron as the sixth search result in Google. I mean, how awesome is that? Thanks random dude in Finland for reading, by the way. Hell, I'm looking at the stats right now and I got 8 more people looking at it just today (before I even put this entry up!) so I'm kinda excited. I don't know if its an indicator of my blog taking off or anything but at least I know if people are reading it, whereas I didn't with the Feed Counter. So thanks again to whoever reads this piece of crap!
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