Just a simple pic of Batista selling his abs after a hard-fought match. But me, I thought it looked like he "couldn't eat one more bite" and thus is being given a wafer-thin mint.
Seeing this pic of Batista in a pink polo shirt reminded me of a TopGun Talwar promo from PWG. Without going into it, TopGun was a guy with a pilot gimmick but over the course of time he became a raging 'roidhead with a cocaine addiction. In one promo, he had claimed to have calmed down and given up on coke, instead devoting his life to delicious Chipotle. That is until a wrestler came by and knocked his burrito on the floor by accident, sending him into roid rage and yelling "Chipotle! I will avenge you!" So, yeah, long explanation for a crappy pic. Let's move on.
I know I posted this here before but it fits here too. Seeing this particular angle of Vince McMahon kicking Bret Hart in the junk made it a perfect fit for a mosh pit.
The topic for this pic was "Who is Edge's entourage?" Of course, hearing Entourage made me think immediately of Jeremy Piven who, along with Dr. Ken Jeong, was one of the worst of Raw's "guest hosts" over the past year. Me being me, I decided to bring up bad memories at the risk of looking like a troll on the forum, even though I'm a fan of both men's work.
As for this one, the topic was "What is Edge pointing at?", referencing the fact that whoever wins the Royal Rumble pretty much always ends the show pointing at the Wrestlemania sign. But instead, I didn't see Edge pointing but actually engaging in a bit of disco fever.
Mike Knox is hairy. 'Nuff said.
Samoa Joe was making a funny face while cutting a promo. So I slapped on the infamous "Shoop Da Woop" internet meme, hopefully having his lazer take out the front row of the TNA Impact Zone in the process.
"Who is interrupting this promo?" I figured it would be somebody that no one would expect.
As a fellow grown man who says "poopy" more often than he should, I'm a fan of John Cena. And farts.
When someone asked about The Miz holding both the United States Championship and the Unified Tag Team Championship titles, making for a total of three belts, I imagined this instead and posted his mug (and fauxhawk) on the classic image of Ultimo Dragon holding the J-Crown (a lightweight championship consisting of 8 separate belts) along with 2 other titles for a total of 10, fully realizing that doing this would be considered somewhat sacrilegious in the wrestling world.
When asked to come up with a WWE sitcom, I slapped Santina Marella (Santino Marella's "sister) onto a King of Queens DVD cover. lol queen. Get it?
Instead of having someone join the Main Event Mafia as originally intended, I thought that Scott Steiner would be lost after the group disbanded and thus joined up with a half-assed Village People cover band.
With Batista's recent heel turn and spiraling descent into general douchebaggery, not to mention his penchant for pink shirts with popped collars, I figured this one was a no-brainer.
Most people saw the hot Maryse in her trademark sexy pose. I saw a hot mime trapped in a sexy invisible box. Someone get her out.
So yeah, that's what I've been doing with myself lately. What a waste, right?
Anyway, for those wondering what's up with wrestling lately after some of my previous blogs, a lot was cleared up after the WWE Elimination Chamber pay-per-view this past weekend. Before, some of the matches for the upcoming Wrestlemania 26 were up in the air but now most of them are all but official. John Cena ended up winning the WWE Heavyweight Championship (aka the Raw belt) in a six-man Elimination Chamber match but it was soon won by Batista, who has become Vince McMahon's hired gun in recent weeks. Both Cena and Batista were expected to have a match at Wrestlemania, especially when they became involved with the Vince McMahon/Bret Hart program recently (with Cena siding with Hart and Batista siding with Vince) but now there's a belt involved. Also, Chris Jericho walked out with the World Heavyweight Championship (aka the Smackdown belt) in another Elimination Chamber match. Everyone was expecting Edge to be facing Chris Jericho at Wrestlemania but with Edge having won a title shot by winning the Royal Rumble, I expected that to be put off because I didn't expect Jericho to win a belt (especially after being routinely buried by Degeneration X on a weekly basis). But there you go. The reason The Undertaker lost the belt in the Chamber match was due to Shawn Michaels interfering and costing him the match. Michaels has been wanting a Wrestlemania rematch with 'Taker in an effort to break his undefeated streak and became obsessed with it to the point of just giving up his career if he couldn't get the rematch. So now that he pissed 'Taker off, Michaels is getting his rematch but now it's a Streak Vs Career Match, meaning that if Shawn loses, he must retire...again. Yeah, we'll see how long that lasts. No one retires in wrestling.
That's just what's confirmed after last night on Raw, but there are a few other stories that have yet to be tied up. The former WWE Heavyweight Champion Sheamus and Triple H "injured" each other in the Elimination Chamber and are surely blaming each other for not walking out with the belt around their waist, so it's expected that the two will wrestle each other. I'm just glad that there's not a belt involved. Also, Legacy member Ted DiBiase Jr. eliminated the stable leader Randy Orton in the Chamber and it was hinted that DiBiase and Cody Rhodes would fully turn on him last night on Raw but Orton was smarter and turned on them both instead. I don't know what kind of match they'll be going for but considering backstage "NEWZ" and rumors have DiBiase pegged as getting a big push, they'll probably do DiBiase vs Orton but I wouldn't be surprised if they do a Handicap Match with Rhodes partnering up with DiBiase. But the biggest story coming out of the Elimination Chamber was the fact that The Undertaker was set on fire. Seriously. No storyline. There was a mistake with the pyro and he ended up standing directly on top of a shooting flame, resulting in him being momentarily engulfed and his jacket catching fire. Luckily he wasn't seriously harmed and is able to wrestle but he did suffer first and second degree burns on his arms and chest and went through with wrestling the match after pouring some bottled water on him. Seriously, the man is badass.
Finally, tonight marks the debut of WWE's new show, NXT, which is taking the place of ECW. With the WWE version of ECW having nothing to do with the original incarnation at this point and no real care being taken with it, the WWE just decided to scrap the show and instead give it a new format. In this case, eight wrestlers from the WWE's "farm league" Florida Championship Wrestling are being called up and paired with eight WWE Superstars to train and fight for a spot on the WWE roster. It claims to be taking a "reality" approach to wrestling so I don't know if it'll end up like UFC's The Ultimate Fighter or if it'll be the same format but with different production but I'll definitely check it out. But the main reason I'm excited is that Bryan Danielson, a big name in the indy scene and considered by many to be one of the best wrestlers in the world period, is making his debut under the name Daniel Bryan. And in an interesting dynamic, his "mentor" is The Miz, a former MTV reality star who is currently a rising star in the WWE but still has about 5-6 years less wrestling experience than Danielson...er...Bryanson...uh...Bryan. Regardless of what format the show ends up being, some of the pairings themselves could carry the show, like Miz/Bryan or CM Punk (who is currently looking like Hobo Jesus and doing a Cult Leader gimmick espousing the virtues of the Straight Edge lifestyle) being the mentor of Darren Young, a guy who looks like John Cena in blackface wearing Superfly Jimmy Snuka's ring gear and a haircut that would make Goku jealous. So I'll tune in tonight and let you guys know how it ends up being, either here or via Twitter, of which my Twitter feed can be found on the right side of the page or @TheRyno665 on Twitter itself.
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