For any regular readers out there (once again, if there is such a thing here), I must apologize for the lack of content these past few weeks. I've had a deadly combination of "lack of motivation" and "literally nothing interesting to write about", hence why you're getting yet another Random Movie Roundup. However, last weekend I recorded a movie podcast along with fellow notables from the Veterans of a Thousand Midnights crew. The reason it's not up is because I'm having trouble finding a suitable host for it. Whether it's paying for hosting (which I definitely can't afford to do right now) or low memory requirements (just our one podcast would take up almost half the allotted memory at some places), I'm trying to weigh all the pros and cons. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know.
Until then, have a look at some of the movies I've watched recently. Hey, it's Sweetest Day. What the hell else am I supposed to do today?
Minghags - For those that don't know from the odd title, Minghags is the Bam Margera-directed "follow-up" to his first movie Haggard. However, I use the term "follow-up" very loosely in this case. You see, Haggard told the story of Falcone (played by Brandon DiCamillo) and his friends Valo (Bam) and Ry (Ryan Dunn) as Falcone tries to invent the Garbage Juicer, Ry suffers from a breakup with a longtime girlfriend and Bam does Bam things like skateboarding and cursing. Not a perfect movie but a fun mindless watch nonetheless. However in Minghags, I can't tell if it's supposed to be a sequel or not because they majorly screw up the characters and the backstory. Now, instead of Falcone inventing the Garbage Juicer, it was apparently invented by the lead singer of the in-movie band Gnarkill (also played by DiCamillo). And he has the mountain bike made of diamonds that Falcone won in the first movie as well! Huh? And Ryan Dunn's character is pretty much the same as he plays the pussy-whipped boyfriend (possibly even moreso this time around) but he has a different name. Yet he still lives with Don Vito like he did in the first movie. Huh? At least Bam keeps things the same, despite also having a different name for his character, as he mostly does Bam things like skateboarding and cursing. Now, I didn't expect Minghags to be a great movie or even a good movie really. But things like this just irk me to no end. It's like if you went and saw Iron Man 2 only they called Tony Stark "Peter Parker" and Iron Man "Spider-Man" for no real reason, especially if that was the only change in the movie. I'd suggest Haggard to a friend if I thought they liked it but Minghags is only for the most loyal Bam Margera fans out there. And since I don't know any, I say avoid it at all costs. D+
Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story - Now, I don't know how accurate this movie is about Bruce Lee's life. Somehow I don't quite believe that Bruce Lee came to America because he kicked a bunch of asses in a well-choreographed fight. But for some reason I'd like to believe that it's more accurate than, say, "Bruce Lee Fights Back From The Grave". So I'm willing not to question the credibility here. Honestly, I've always liked this movie. Back in my teens, I loved it for the fights. Now, I like it because it's willing to show how flawed even a person like Bruce Lee can be. I don't care who you are, should you become paralyzed by a kung fu master, you'd at least debate throwing in the towel and giving up. And Bruce Lee wanted to at first. When he finally found success in his homeland, he became a workaholic and completely ignored his family to the point where it almost resulted in a divorce. Jason Scott Lee plays Bruce Lee so well that I'm honestly surprised he's not related. While Dragon isn't quite non-stop action, it definitely is worth watching, especially if you're a Bruce Lee fan. And really, who isn't? B+
I Sell The Dead - Aside from one random review, all I knew about this movie was that it was in the Horror section at Best Buy and it was only $5. Well, Best Buy was only half-right as this movie isn't scary at all. Thankfully, I don't think it was meant to be. But where else are you going to put a movie about graverobbers taking out jobs specifically involving exhuming the undead? It's pretty funny, actually, but I can imagine it being out of place in the Comedy section. I Sell The Dead plays like a collection of stories, similar to the recent Trick 'R Treat, as Dominic Monaghan (aka That Guy From Lost and X-Men Origins: Wolverine) talks about his way to make a living to a priest played by Ron Perlman (aka Hellboy and The Beast from Beauty and the Beast...not the Disney version) as he awaits the guillotine. At first, I wasn't really into watching this movie as I was quite tired and it takes me a little getting used to watching movies with thick English accents. But when I picked back up where I left off the next day, I found myself enjoying it. Though I don't think I'd favor it over Trick 'R Treat, I'd definitely suggest it to the horror fan who doesn't mind a good laugh at some British humor...even if the ending is a little obvious. B+
Reno 911 Miami: The Movie - As a fan of the series, I really wanted to like the movie. But honestly, it just plays like a 90-minute episode of the show. And movies like that can tend to drag on a little bit. I don't know, maybe I just didn't feel like having a good laugh when I watched this, but I feel that it should've elicited a bigger reaction than I had. I will give credit where credit is due, though. I was particularly impressed with the "Hotel" scene, a scene shot in one take for a good couple minutes that culminated with most of the cast jerking off to Hotel cable porn. Honestly, it almost reminded me of that scene in The Protector/Tom Yum Goong. Only instead of Tony Jaa kicking ass trying to find his baby elephant, it's Officer Jones walking in on everyone masturbating. There were also quite a bit of great cameos, noteworthy among them being Paul Rudd doing a bad Scarface impression. But I'm still a little bitter about Patton Oswalt's role, as sizable as it may be, I wish he was in the movie more. And for all those fans of The State out there, we get cameos of the rest of that crew too. Keep an eye out on the tattoo artists in the movie. But other than that, I thought it was pretty average. If I had seen this in theaters, I'd imagine I'd be a bit more peeved. But as it stands, it's mostly a missed opportunity to have done more with what they were given. C+
Batman Begins - I'm just gonna come out and say it right now: In comparison to The Dark Knight, I don't think Batman Begins holds up very well. Did the franchise need this reboot? Of course, especially after the damage done by Joel Schumacher (and this is coming from someone who likes Batman Forever). As an origin story, Batman Begins definitely delivers. But as more? I don't see it. I think that's mostly due to the enemies. Cillian Murphy did a great job as the Scarecrow but gets taken out almost as easily as Whiplash did in Iron Man 2. And Liam Neeson is...well, Liam Neeson as Ras Al Ghul but he only bookends the film with his presence. In my opinion, a hero is only as good as his rogues gallery and if you don't see them as a threat, that only serves to make the hero look weak as well. That's why I was disappointed in Iron Man 2 and that's why Batman Begins only serves not much beyond simple character development. Thankfully they ramped everything up for The Dark Knight, as opposed to Iron Man 2 simply being The Tony Stark Show (again) with an origin story for The Avengers. B+
I swear I'll try to come up with some actual content soon. If I get to see Jackass 3D this weekend, I'll try to have a review up.
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