A Whole Lotta Nothin'

I'm not even sure why I'm doing a blog entry when I really don't have much to write about.  Maybe just to show myself I can?  I don't know.  But due to a lethal combination of depression, worry, anxiety, apathy and empathy, my motivation to do much of anything, let alone write, has been sapped from me.  So I don't know why I'm doing this when I could be doing other things.  I could be finishing the script I'm writing for a short film that'll probably never get made.  I have most of it in my head already, I'm just stuck in a spot where I don't feel like continuing.  I could be polishing up some material for stand-up that I've been bouncing around in my brain but I don't know when I'll get up on stage next.  Hell, I haven't even really been watching many movies to write up a half-assed Random Movie Roundup.  For some reason, all I've really watched was the entire run of Viva La Bam, followed up by watching all the Street Fighter films (Sonny Chiba, not the video game) and right now I'm watching some wrestling in the background while writing this.  I'd like to do another podcast soon but with the hectic holiday season, it's harder for my friends to get together for gaming (which I don't even do much of anymore), let alone watching a crappy movie.  I've gotten a few new CDs over the past few months but have opted to do any sort of reviews on them, saving them for the obligatory Year End Best Of list.  But will I even have the motivation for that when the time comes?  It's coming up on a whole year of writing this blog and I never imagined I would have petered out like this.  Maybe I had lofty goals, hoping to be some sort of presence on the Internet like so many reviewers or useless vloggers before me.  But when it seems like life in general is like some sort of losing game, I guess doing something like this pales in comparison in the grand scheme of things.  And I don't know if my certain scheme of things is all that "grand".

I really need something to turn things around soon or else.