Wednesday, June 16, 2010

A Look at WWE NXT: Season 2

For those of you that don't follow professional wrestling, then the bulk of this entry will probably sail straight over your head.  But for those of you that do, then you probably already know that WWE's NXT has started it's second "season".  To me, the concept is pretty novel: Pair 8 "Rookies" with 8 WWE "Pros" and have them show their talent via a reality show-type format where the winner receives a WWE contract and a title match at a future pay-per-view event.  However, Season 1 seemed to be a work in progress, starting off strong then flailing in the water with weak storylines (save for the epic Daniel Bryan vs Michael Cole story) and embarrassing  Physical Challenges straight out of a mid-'90s Nickolodeon show.  Luckily NXT ended Season 1 fairly strong by naming it's first winner and winding up becoming part of one of the most intriguing storylines in recent memory.  Therefore, before I take a look at Season 2's class of Rookies, let me catch you up with what happened at the end of Season 1.

The final three was pared down to the cocky "A-List" David Otunga, high-flier Justin Gabriel and English brawler Wade Barrett, who were forced to square off in an Elimination-Rules Triple Threat Match (or "Three-Way Dance" for you old school ECW fans) and then be judged afterwards by the WWE Pros.  Otunga was eliminated first by Barrett after taking advantage of a 450 Splash from Gabriel, who was later eliminated by Barrett.  Due to this, Barrett retained his hold on the #1 spot while Otunga was voted #2, despite being eliminated from the match first.  Therefore, Gabriel was eliminated from the competition while Barrett and Otunga's final task to determine the winner was to cut promos against each other.  Between Otunga's lack of charisma (I'm honestly surprised he didn't call Barrett "a bowl of mashed potatoes" like he did Daniel Bryan) and Barrett's smooth Welsh accent, Wade Barrett seemed to be a lock to become the first winner of NXT.  Of course, that wasn't without controversy as the Pros got into a bit of an argument, led by the always awesome William Regal, who challenged just about everyone to a fight and called Matt Hardy "Eugene" and Christian "Benjamin Button" for no real reason.  The craziness of it all caused CM Punk to just say "Eff this" and walk off the stage before Wade Barrett was officially crowned the winner.

(Fast forward to about 2:50 and watch the wackiness ensue.)



But as big of a deal as that was, it pales in comparison to what happened the next week on Raw.  After alluding to "winds of change" sweeping over Raw, Wade Barrett made his way to the ring during a match between John Cena and CM Punk.  But he wasn't alone as the other 7 NXT rookies came through the crowd, hopped the guardrail and swarmed the ring.  The result was nothing more than earth-shattering as the NXT rookies tore apart John Cena like rabid wolves, beat down CM Punk and Luke Gallows, overturned the broadcast table on Jerry Lawler (Michael Cole was lucky enough to run away unharmed), choked out ring announcer Justin Roberts and dismantled the ring.



However, Cena and the others weren't the only casualties of the NXT "N"vasion as one of their own would end up getting punished for their actions.  A few days later, Daniel Bryan was inexplicably released from WWE and wished well in his future endeavors.  While many people still think this is part of a storyline (I'm still quite skeptical about the whole thing), all signs point to this being a legit firing due to his actions during the riot on Raw, particularly the moment where Bryan choked Justin Roberts out with his own tie (visible at around the 2:00 mark in the above video).  There are many rumors swirling around as to why this happened: a higher-up at Mattel Toys (who currently makes the WWE action figures) was offended and wanted him fired, Bryan's actions would make Linda McMahon's campaign for a seat in the Senate look bad, Bryan was violating backstage rules involving the Chris Benoit tragedy (despite other stars doing the same before him like Triple H and Shawn Michaels occasionally using Benoit's finishing submission or JBL choking someone out with cables mere months after the tragedy).  Though the punishment seems pretty severe (I don't know why they didn't just suspend him), all we really know for sure is that Daniel Bryan is not employed by the WWE anymore...though it seems like they are possibly leaving the door open for a return sometime down the road.  This week on Raw, the NXT rookies struck again, ending the show by tossing General Manager Bret "Hitman" Hart into the back of a limo and having the driver (who could possibly end up being Daniel Bryan) ram into several cars in the parking lot.

Which brings us up to now, Season 2 of NXT.  The "Rookies" have already undergone an initiation of sorts via a beatdown by their "Pros" to ensure a mutiny of this magnitude would not happen again.  For now, it seems like everyone is on the same page.  But in the end, who really has what it takes to become the second winner of NXT?

(Once again, the pictures come from WWE.com, so give them some traffic, why don'tcha?)


Alex Riley
Pro: The Miz
Vitals: 6'2", 240 lbs.
Interesting Facts: The offspring of a beauty queen and an ESPN commentator...which automatically makes him a giant douche from gestation.

Seriously, just look at him.  Alex Riley is the rich boy jock straight out of your favorite '80s teen movie.  After the supposed "disappointment" of having to mentor Daniel Bryan last season, The Miz hand-picked his rookie for this season and I can't imagine a better fit for either Miz or Alex.  In fact, if The Miz wasn't so entertaining as a solo star, I'd suggest a possible "fraternity"-themed tag team once Riley becomes more established to the fans.

Chances of Remaining in WWE: 80%

He's cocky, has character and is solid in the ring.  I can see him being the d-bag heel that David Otunga failed at being last season.  In fact, Alex Riley reminds me A LOT of Mr. Kennedy (now Mr. Anderson in TNA) so as long as he can stay injury-free and not talk crap about the other wrestlers, maybe he'll get a big push that Kennedy was rumored to receive?  We'll see.


Eli Cottonwood
Pro: John Morrison
Vitals: 7'0", 313 lbs.
Interesting Facts: Really tall, Possibly mildly retarded.

Obviously the biggest and most physically imposing rookie on the NXT roster, Eli Cottonwood definitely has an advantage over the rest.  Right now, his character is reminiscent of some sadistic backwoods creeper straight outta Deliverance, so in wrestling terms that would make him a cross between Kane and Festus.  But so far, all Eli has shown of his "character" is the ability to look like he's perpetually smelling a nasty fart.  Apparently John Morrison's Palace of Wisdom is right next door to a Taco Bell.

Chances of Remaining in WWE: 60%
He's tall.  Really tall.  Much like The Great Khali and Giant Gonzalez before him, Eli is proof that all you really need to get a job with the WWE is be seven feet tall or over.  I haven't seen much of Eli's work beyond last week's show but I wasn't necessarily impressed.  Not to mention he's one of the least imposing "big men" I've seen so far.  I think a big part of that is his ring gear.  Seriously, look at him.  Eli looks like he's going to be late for his ballet recital.  This year's theme: I Spit On Your Grave.  Then again, that would be considered his "alternate" attire as he's worn leather pants to the ring, but that only serves to give me Kevin Nash flashbacks.


Husky Harris
Pro: Cody Rhodes
Vitals: 6'2", 295 lbs.
Interesting Facts: Third-generation superstar, Son of "Captain" Mike "I.R.S." Rotundo(a).

In a trend that will pop up later on, the "Creative" team at WWE decided to change a wrestler's name...yet fully acknowledge his rich wrestling heritage.  Apparently, Irwin R. Schyster Jr. wasn't good enough so they decided to name him after the Young Men's clothes section that's supposed to be PC yet is still wholly embarrassing.  Because he's fat, get it?  But really, you couldn't name him Rotund Rotundo?  I realize it doesn't exactly roll off the tongue like Husky Harris does but at least he gets to keep his name.  Plus, I came up with that in about two seconds, which is probably 1/100th of the time it took the Creative team.  Could be worse though.  Between the weight and his borderline neckbeard, I'm surprised they didn't have him act like a hygenically-challenged nerd to offend the Internet fans (which is surely a good 75% of NXT's audience).  Nevertheless, Cody Rhodes is none too pleased to be saddled with the likes of Harris, not so much that he's fat and maybe not even because he feels above him, despite the fact that they both come from wrestling families.  Honestly, I think Cody is jealous that Harris looks more like a Rhodes than he does.  Because he's fat, get it?

Chances of Remaining in WWE: 75%
On the one hand, Harris is a third-generation star and should have no problem getting a spot on the roster, considering the WWE's love for keeping it in the family.  Hell, they just brought up the sons of Rikishi, a guy whose existence they haven't acknowleged for a good couple years now.  On the other hand, he's fat.  But I say we need more fat guys in wrestling!  The foundation of pro wrestling as we know it today was built upon the hard work and sweat of ugly fat men and midgets, dammit!


Kaval
Pro(s): Michelle McCool and Layla
Vitals: 5'8", 174 lbs.
Interesting Facts: Former TNA X Division Champion, Makes a living by Mushroom Stomping on people, Warrior.

If you thought the Internet fans were mad at the oil-and-water pairing of Daniel Bryan and The Miz last season, thank God you weren't around to see all of them complain when they found out Kaval would be taught the ropes by Co-Women's Champions Michelle McCool and Layla.  Personally, I think it's brilliant and am actually a bit jealous that I couldn't think up something as WTF?-worthy as that.  Sure, many may argue that this is reducing a great talent like Kaval down to nothing more than a joke, but think of what kind of reaction he'll get when he finally turns on them after months of abuse.  Plus, I bet he gets to sneak some peeks on Michelle and Layla in the locker room.  See, sometimes being treated as a "joke" has its advantages.

Chances of Remaining in WWE: 100% (or 0%)
Much like Daniel Bryan, Kaval is the golden boy of the internet and thus has the largest pre-existing fan base behind him.  But also like Daniel Bryan, that could easily put Kaval under scrutiny and thus have an example made out him by management for a minor infraction.  So don't hope for him to Ghetto Stomp Michelle McCool anytime soon.  Chances are he just might do it...and he'll be gone.  Though that would be pretty awesome if he did.  Just sayin'.


 Lucky Cannon
Pro: Mark Henry
Vitals: 6'5", 238 lbs.
Interesting Facts: Ummm...he's lucky?

While he has gone on record to say that "Lucky" is a nickname, the announcers never really bill him as such.  It would make more sense to call him [Insert First Name Here] "Lucky" Cannon but instead we just have Lucky Cannon, which makes me believe that his parents named him after some ultimate weapon from an obscure Japanese RPG video game.  Plus, I just realized that he looks like Randy Orton, only with more hair and less tattoos.  And less chest oil.  So he's not really endearing himself to me from the start.

Chances of Remaining in WWE: 30%
Lucky is solid in the ring but he doesn't exactly have a magnetic personality or an interesting look to him.  He better blow people away from the start or else he's going to get lost in the shuffle and get eliminated early.

 

Michael McGillicutty
Pro: Kofi Kingston
Vitals: 6'3", 224 lbs.
Interesting Facts: Son of Hall of Famer "Mr. Perfect" Curt...McGillicutty?  WTF?

Much like Husky Harris, McGillicutty is the victim of the dreaded "Unnecessary Name Change".  But this name change is made all the more confusing considering that McGillicutty's dad is none other than the legendary "Mr. Perfect", also known as Curt HENNIG!  And they don't even try to hide the fact that he's Hennig's son, so why the name change?!?  I have no clue.  It almost makes me wonder if Curt had some sort of affair with ECW's Beulah McGillicutty, who is now Tommy Dreamer's wife.  But I'm sure "The Bastard Son That Tommy Dreamer Doesn't Know About" isn't that great of a gimmick...or is it?  Anyway, the ONE saving grace about the whole "Unnecessary Name Change" is the fact that he's dubbed his fans the "McGilli-buddies"...which, I must admit, is really awesome.

Chances of Remaining in WWE: 85%

Like Husky Harris, if your dad or grandpa was a wrestler, you'll automatically get a spot in the WWE.  He's the son of Mr. Perfect, so as long as he has the skills to back it up, he should have a job for life.  But please, for the love of God, change your name back to Hennig!  It still doesn't make any damn sense, no matter what cockamamie explanation I can come up with to justify it!


Percy Watson
Pro: MVP
Vitals: 6'3", 235 lbs.
Interesting Facts: Former NFL player, Made out of pure awesome.

Honestly, I can't really say anything more that can't be shown in this video.  Watch...and behold at the greatness of Percy Watson:



Chances of Remaining in WWE: 80,000%
WWE would be idiots to let a guy like this go.  With his bouncing-off-the-walls charisma and his "South Beach Party Boy" gimmick, Percy Watson is everything that Darren "Black Cena" Young should have been.  Not to mention he arguably made the biggest impact in his match last week, pinning Husky Harris with a sweet floatover DDT.  I'm really looking forward to what Percy Watson is going to do next.  OH YEAH!


Titus O'Neil
Pro: Zack Ryder
Vitals: 6'4", 267 lbs.
Interesting Facts: Also a former NFL player, Nowhere near as awesome as Percy Watson (but then again, who is?).

Despite the fact that he wrestled last week, I can't really say anything about Titus O'Neil.  I honestly can't remember anything he did during the match, though I do remember him cutting as bland of a promo as he possibly could.  He'll probably end up being the "Michael Tarver" of this group, whereas he'll get eliminated early on, if not first.  But maybe I'm wrong. Tarver did end up showing some personality after he was eliminated so maybe there's hope for O'Neil...but I doubt it.  And as much as I like Zack Ryder, he's not exactly in a position to be teaching anybody how to do anything other than act like a Jersey Shore d-bag.

Chances of Remaining in WWE: 10%

I already forgot who this guy is.  Sorry.

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